Cripple and the starfish

My brother and I started working out Wednesday-night (so don't keep your hopes up) and yesterday I went for a long walk after lifting weights. When I came home I heard my mom say "I have given birth to 3... 4 kids so I think I'm allowed to be a little fat"

I only have two brothers but one year before I was born my mother gave birth to a boy who was already dead. It's scarred my mother and we don't really talk about it so when she changed her mind from 3 to 4 kids I knew what she was talking about but I couldn't help it.

Me: Did you change your mind from 3 to 4 kids or did you just remember how many times you've given birth?
Mom: I've given birth to 4.
Me: Good, because it sounded like you weren't quite sure as if you didn't know how many kids you actually do have.
Dad: "I have 3 or 4 kids, more or less"

We started laughing pretty hard and only minutes after this my dad starts poking me in the side, pissing me off.

Me: Goddammit! When will you start acting like a grown-up?!
Dad: Never..
Me: You know mom, it's very hard to love your own dad when they act like 12!
Mom: I know, I sometimes have a hard time to love him myself.
Me: Yeah, but you chose him - it's wasn't like I had any saying in this.
Dad: I can't be too bad. I have a loving wife and 3 or 4 kids, more or less.

Thought of the Day;

I'm a sadistic bastard.

It's three weeks ago it ended with Mike and boys are now far down on my to-do-list, though only no2 on my black-list (sorry boys)

Still I have allowed myself to enjoy at small schoolgirl-crush, nothing serious and since he is too far down on my to-do-list (it's sounds like I mean it in a dirty way but I don't) I'm not planning on acting or telling anyone about this.

Still, it stings a little to be ignore and listening to Antony and The Johnsons - Cripple and the starfish I can't help to recognize what he sings about. I'm allowing this stinging (or like Antony would say "Stingy thingy on little me me me") and I most certainly encourage it - luckily I will be repaired by tomorrow if I set my mind to it.


If I set my mind to it.


At least it keeps my mind off of my problems with Mike, maybe this is a rebound-crush? Maybe this is me trying to keep my faith in men?

Well, there's easier ways to do that. Maybe I'll hang out with my brother today, especially since I'm meeting my other brother on Sunday for a haircut. I'm surrounded by men all the time, relatives yes, but still - they take care of me and love me no matter what.  But maybe that's not enough?

Maybe.

I'm a sadistic bastard and I'm promise, a Tequila will make things better.